LIke A Business: A Short Story

So, the other day, for no real good reason, I thought about writing a bit of science fiction about our current administration and where it would like to take us. I won’t actually write it, of course. It is beyond, I fear, my limited abilities as a writer. But, it is interesting to amuse myself with, if nothing else.

Anyway, the story revolves around the fact that one of the underlying themes of the Trump administration is that government needs to be run “like a business”—i.e., with efficiency and dispatch, avoiding waste, and making a real profit.

Of course, this idea is not restricted to Trump himself or even just his close associates (those that are left, that is, after his periodic purges), but also the whole crew of individuals who are behind him --  for example, the “dark money network” of wealthy men and women (the Koch Brothers, for example), Fox News and its Supporters, the self-described anarcho-capitalists and their ilk...the whole, in short, cadre of Right Revolutionaries who clutch their copies of Atlas Shrugged and James Buchanan, and dream of a world where liberals and socialists are kept in cages, and billionaires are properly recognized as the only true children of God.

So, for the moment, let’s say they succeed in their goals. What sort of government would they construct? Well, I think you would have the Constitution revised, or wholly replaced, so that the President is more like a corporate CEO, his/her powers no longer so very limited by what Trump has famously called the “archaic” nature of our system. Then, Congress would be supplanted by something like a board of directors whose purpose would not be to legislate but rather to make certain the CEO remained efficient and effective, and that share-holder value was increased on a daily basis.

And the Supreme Court? Well, it is hard for me to see what role that institution would have in this new, improved, business-oriented world. It would get in the way, you see, of effective action. But, maybe, it could be replaced by a sort of central accounting office, a new body whose purpose would be to limit unnecessary expenditure.

The independent press, meanwhile, would cease to exist—replaced by some sort of Department of Public Relations. Social services would be drastically cut or eliminated entirely. The police and the military would still exist and, indeed, be enlarged...though, their purpose would subtly change. The former would no longer be quite so concerned with defending the public and would be rather more interested in keeping that public in line. The latter would be less focused on national defense, and more on expanding the overseas power of financial interests...corporations, banks, and so on.

And even they, the police and the military, would find their autonomy gradually eroded, and their functions slowly privatized. The Navy Seal would be replaced by the Black Water mercenary.

Okay, so that’s the setting. Where do we go from there? Where does the story go?

Well, in it, there is a new dawn in America...an age when James Buchanan’s “economic liberty” trumps (no pun intended) all other kinds of freedom. All the organs of government (those few that still exist) adopt a sound business model.

And, for a time, it works. One national CEO is gracefully replaced by another, and then a third. There is an economic boom (at least for some people) as regulation is itself regulated to the scrap heap of history.

But, then, gradually...very, very gradually...strains and stresses appear. For, of course, governments are not businesses. The art of governing is not identical to that of business management. The possession of an MBA does not make you an expert in everything.

Privatized schools and universities... where “education is a business like any other”... fail to genuinely educate their charges. The “shareholders” and “customers” ...the wealthy and the powerful...seek more profitable investments elsewhere (in nations that still have a tax-supported infrastructure). The “employees”...everyone else...grow ever more restive and dissatisfied.

And finally, there is a disaster. There is some sort of crisis—an outbreak of plague which the disbanded CDC can no longer oppose, an excess of corruption on Wall Street which the SEC was not there to forestall, a war...with a nation which still believes in nationalism and the loyalty (or otherwise) of whose military is not up for sale.

And the whole Grand Prix down Fifth Avenue comes roughly to a halt.

How does my little story end? I think it concludes with the national CEO, and the Board of Directors, and the other members of our Power Elite, confronting this debacle...and suddenly realizing that (by God!) there is, in particular, one way in which government is most assuredly not like a business.

To wit, in business, failure...even catastrophic failure...is an option. You declare bankruptcy, the stockholders eat the cost, and the chief officers retire to Caribbean islands with their “performance bonuses.”

However, in government, when there is an invading army at your gates, or an insurrection at your door... consequences are swift, and fierce, and very often, fatal.

But...still...

As I say, this is only my fiction. And I have already revealed that I am not a talented writer. I lack the skill to write the piece. So we will simply leave it there.

Though, maybe, perhaps...some other, more potent author than I will adopt this tale, and tell it.

With details that are most concrete. And vital. And critics will applaud its refreshing, if distressing, brutality.

Almost as good as American Psycho, or even Blood Meridian.


~mjt