Damned if we Do and Da . . . oh, hell, you know the rest

So, now that the Bushits have got into this war in Iraq, what are our options?

Well, number one, we could Hang Tough, Stay The Course, and remain in the country till Mission Accomplished . . . which means that lots of Americans and lots and lots of Iraqis will keep getting killed while we’re in the middle of a covert civil war and every crackpot terrorist in the known universe targets America, and, oh, yes, there’s no oil coming out of Iraq to fuel our nice shiny new hummers.

Hmm. That’s pretty ugly. So . . .

Option two, we End The War, Pull Out, and Bring Our Boys (and Girls) Home . . . and, that means there’s an overt civil war, lots and lots and lots of Iraqis get slaughtered, every crackpot terrorist in the known universe learns that if you just kill enough Americans then the country caves, which means a bunch of us get killed, too, and, oh, yes, there’s no oil coming out of Iraq to fuel our nice shiny new Hummers.

Uh . . .

Say, would someone please stand up and let me know which one of these is the lesser of two evils? I’m having a hard time figuring it out.

What they've done to Chirstianity

I go to church regularly. One of my better friends is a minister. And yet . . .

Today I heard that among the witnesses at the Enron Trial was a professor from Texas Christian University. He seemed reasonable and learned. But, you know what?

After Bush, after Tom Delay, after Pat Robertson, after the Religious Right, after the invasion of Iraq, after the pedophile scandal in the Church, after the bombings of abortion clinics, after attempts to impose Creationism on public schools, after . . . well, after everything . . .

The very first thing I thought was: How could anyone take seriously a witness from an institution with “Christian” and “Texas” in its name?

new blog

For those who might be interested, I've set up a new blog devoted to my video experiments. It is:

http://michaeljayvideo.blogspot.com/

cheers

mjt

Starr System

Speaking of Ken Starr (remember him?) there was another piece in the paper this morning that interested me. It seems that state prosecutors are notoriously underpaid. Thus, many of them have to take second jobs (the paper mentioned one who was a dance instructor, another who worked for a funeral home) just to make ends meet.

Now, this is significant, for you will recall that state prosecutors are the people responsible for convicting murderers and rapists. But, them, we don’t pay.

Meanwhile, how many million dollars was it that Ken Starr blew through in an attempt to prove there was a stain on a blue dress . . .?

So, I guess . . . when the GOP talks about “law and order” . . . it means defending Dacron everywhere.

Moral Authority

The paper this morning was a cheery thing. Just chock-o-block full of stories of pedophiles protected and sheltered by the Church, a Priest accused of being a member of sex ring which exploited women and children and who later murdered a nun in a particularly horrible way, and the Vatican continuing to oppose condom use even in the face of AIDS.

And these are the people who think they have the moral authority to tell us how to live our lives.

Come again?

That’s like Ken Starr lecturing on judicial ethics.

a video experiment

Something different today. I've been experimenting with video. Pretty creepy stuff. I like it.

Go Here to see.

once more, uncalled for

The thing to remember about the people who put Bush into office, and keep him there, is that a big chunk of them really and truly, as God is their witness, believe that Jesus was blonde, Jews worship Satan, and anyone who can read a whole comic strip in a single sitting without moving their lips is most likely a Communist.

ah, sh*t

Jeez, but the Left irritates me. I’m supposed to be a Leftie . . . or at least that’s what hyperventilating libertarians tell me when I suggest that just maybe we could use public schools and state roads . . . but, you know, sometimes . . . all the same . . .

Like for instance:

I see in the paper that the plumbers’ union in Philadelphia has come down with a Diktat against waterless urinals because it means fewer bribes for organized crim- . . .er, I mean, less work for the guild. And the union leadership’s gotten pretty darn fierce about it.

Which means, of course, the union has handed a nearly perfect weapon to its own enemies, and at this very moment the Greens who ought to be the plumbers’ natural allies are staring in aghast horror and thinking about all those millions of gallons of clean water that COULD have been saved but won’t be . . . and Right-wing Pundits are jumping up and down and saying “See? See? We told you they were a threat to everything pure and beautiful.”

So, note to the union:

Gee, Guys, why don’t you just to shoot yourself in the head? Be a lot quicker.

Delay Departs

So Tom “The Hammer” Delay is gone. That’s a good thing.

But, come on, let’s face it. Not much is going to change.

At least, not until somebody on the side of the angels learns to be even meaner ‘n he was.

seduced necons

You may have noticed that I haven’t been saying as many nasty things about Neoconservatives lately. There is a good reason for this. Lately, some of the better sort of Neocon intellectuals have been bailing out of the Bush camp. You see, they noticed this little fact that they were being used by the W. Bushies to provide intellectual cover for some d*mn dumbest decisions yet made by human beings in elective office and now they’re basically being hung out to dry. They were, in other words, seduced and abandoned.

Or, rather more precisely, they got scr*wed.

And they didn’t even get dinner first.

Altar Boys: take two

So, a certain large Church, which shall remain nameless, has launched an effort to drive gay people from its ranks. This Church has said they are “immoral.”

This, you understand, is after the same Church played “hide the pedophile” for several decades.

It is for this reason that I’ve begun experimenting with the art of collage. One of my little works is pasted here.

Seems fitting, don’t you think?

a completely uncalled for remark

The Feminist says “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” She is, of course, quite wrong.

Now, if altar boys could knock-up bishops . . .that would be another story entirely.

how it works

Okay, let me get this straight. Clinton didn’t nuke Beijing, so the Bushites said he was a traitor and a wimp and probably had a six Chinese trans-gendered hookers chained to the wall in the Lincoln bedroom.

Now, W. Bush is asleep at the switch when Islam-o-Nazis fly airplanes into New York and DC, then lets Bennie Laydown escape, then invades the wrong country with too few people . . . and then he wanted to sell at least three ports to Arab nations which might happen to have close connections to the very same chaps who’d like to ship WMDs in container ships into the country.

And people say he’s a Patriot.

Okay. Fine.

Just trying to figure out how it works around here.

sorry to be quiet for so long

Sorry I’ve quiet for so long. It’s just that . . . well . . .you know . . . it’s hard to write anything that’ll get a chuckle about current politics. I mean, really, compared to master comedians like Bush and his analogs in the DNC, I’m just not even in the same league.

On Noble Ideals

Ideal — definition, an ennobling and enlightening concept which exists in the ephemeral to thus justify our doing terrible things to people in the material. See Liberation, Peace & Justice, etc.

The Slime

You know, I haven’t written much about Dickie (“Quick-Draw”) Cheney and his fun little gun. Mostly that’s because, at first, I thought it was just an accident and a personal tragedy.

Yet, with the passing of time, that’s gotten harder to believe. We have discovered that there were so many lies and evasions . . .

And, you know, I can’t help thinking, you remember back when President Clinton’s secretary of commerce, Ron Brown, was killed in a plane crash — which was, gawdamit, an accident — and almost instantly all the Neocon GOP slime spreaders came out from under their rocks to tell the world that he’d been assassinated?

Well, imagine, just imagine what would have happened . . . the stories, the falsehoods, the dis-information, the smear job up the wazoo . . . that we’d be living with now if Cheney had been a Democrat.

Search Engine Boogie

So the Feds want all the search engines, like Google, to provide the details of anyone who looks for illegal stuff. But, not to worry — the Feds tell us — we’re only looking for perverts, child pornographers, and terrorists.

Well . . . them . . . plus ACLU members, people who voted for Gore, New Orleans residents who aren’t thrilled with FEMA, Blue State citizens, critics of the war in Iraq, and anyone who has ever vaguely suspected that Karl Rove looks lot like a warthog with a glandular problem.

But, hey! Six of one, half a dozen . . .

Those Cartoons

So, like most of us, I’ve been watching the riots in Islamic countries about those rather vile cartoons published in Denmark.

And, like most of us, I get all huffy about freedom of speech, and freedom of the press, and, besides, maybe we in the West would be a little less eager to print pictures of the Prophet with a bomb on his head if maybe his followers had declined, at least once in a while, not to blow us and each other up at regular intervals for about the last half century.

But, that said . . . given the realities of modern international strife . . . and all those hyperventilating mobs in places like Teheran . . . and everything . . . well . . .

Note to the Danish Press: If you really wanted to commit hari kari, couldn’t you have stayed at home and shot yourself in the head? Would have been a lot quicker.

Knight Mare

J.J. Bittermuch writes me from the fifth circle (the Wraithful) of Hell:

In Boston there’s a local publication that covers the night-life and café scene. In a recent issue, the publication printed the results of an informal survey of women asking if chivalry was dead. The general opinion was that it was not only dead but dang near starting to draw flies.

One typical comment from an interviewee was “Although [we are] independent, equal, and fabulous, we still deserve to be treated like ladies. Pay for my meal, open my door, pull out my chair, damn it.”

Fascinating. A total crock of hairy quadruped excrement, but fascinating.

Look, Lady, and I use the term loosely, most men of the last few generations grew up listening to Feminists define all men as pigs and all sex as rape. We listened while women announced that the Y-chromosome was a sexually transmitted disease. We were there while female academics proclaimed us the children of Cain. We watched while women announced that every male was, at best, an impotent sit-com daddy, and at worst, an animal.

And now you have the brass-plated chutzpah to demand that we treat you like a fairy tale princess?

Whoa.

Listen, redefine me . . . at least a little, at least once in a while . . . as Saint George rather than the Dragon, and then maybe we can talk about the shining armor.

Until then . . . well . . .

Galahad has left the building.

Rolling Stones of the Union

So I watched the State of the Union thing the other night. In it, our fearless leader said we were addicted to oil and needed to mend our ways.

Truth enough, but, you know . . .

This is an administration which is so wired into the oil industry that you can’t figure out where the pipeline leaves off and Cheney’s pacemaker picks up.

And these guys are telling us to consume less?

Come on, that’s like Keith Richards passing out DARE stickers.