Guns & Blood In ABQ

This happened in Albuquerque on Monday. There was a protest in what’s called “Old Town,” which is the historical center of the city, and is now a major tourist destination. The protest was about a statue of the Spanish conquistador Juan de Oñate (1550-1626). This gentleman is controversial to say the least. He was an early governor of New Mexico, and was an explorer of much of what is now the Southwestern United States.

But...he was not particularly gentle. Among other things, he was responsible for the massacre of about 500 native Americans at Acoma Pueblo. He also ordered many of the survivors of the massacre mutilated (all men over 25 lost a foot) and then deported to Mexico City where they were sold into slavery. In fact, he was so brutal that when King Philip of Spain heard about the events at Acoma, he had Oñate recalled from New Mexico, never to return.

Thus, the statue of him in Old Town has always been a bit of a sore point for the Native Americans of New Mexico, and for their allies. So, on 15 June, a group of them gathered at Old Town and called for the statue to be removed, the way that statues of Confederate soldiers are being removed from the South, and those of slave traders are being hauled away in the U.K.

However...

A private militia group calling itself the “New Mexico Civil Guard” also arrived at the site. They were very heavily armed and, according to news reports, began intimidating the protestors with their weapons.

What happened after that is still unclear, but apparently there was some sort of a scuffle between the protestors and one or more of the militia members. It seems that one of the militia men threw a woman, presumably a protestor, to the ground. Then, the crowd moved in on the militia man. He then did exactly what you’d expect. He pulled out his gun and used it.

As of yesterday, the report was that one man ...a protestor...had been shot and was in the hospital in “critical but stable” condition.

The Albuquerque Police...bless them!...swooped in and arrested the militia members.  The shooter has been booked on charges of aggravated battery.

Now, why am I telling you all this? Because, for one thing, Albuquerque is my home town. I don’t live there right now, but I did for several years. And so I’m particularly interested in what goes on in the city.

And, for another...because I’m been saying for years that the presence of heavily armed “militias,” like the ones that invaded state legislatures during anti-quarantine demonstrations, are incompatible with democracy...and that it was only a matter of time before the militia members started trying to kill their opponents. Which means liberals, Democrats, Never Trump Republicans, and anyone else that they just don’t like.

Which means, this incident, if nothing else, is proof positive of my thesis...

When all this is done and said, and Trump is out of the White House, the next thing we must do is think long and hard about the fact that the Right has decided it is okay to use weapons against their fellow Americans in political disputes.

And we must decide what to do about that.

Before it is far too late.

Sources:

"Armed ‘militia’ members arrested, gunman identified after man is shot at Albuquerque protest," Washington Post, https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/06/16/albuquerque-militia-shooting-protest/

‘Horrified and disgusted beyond words’, Albuquerque Journal, https://www.abqjournal.com/1466626/one-man-shot-during-protest-in-old-town-albuquerque.html

***

About me: I’m a writer and former journalist who has published material on everything from computers to the Jazz Age. (Among my small claims to fame is that I interviewed Steve Jobs just after that talented if complicated man got kicked out of Apple, and just before the company’s Board came begging him to come back.)

Please check out my new book, Padre: To The Island, a meditation on mortality, grief, and joy, based on the lives and deaths of two of the most amazing and unconventional people I ever met, my mother and father.

  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Beautiful Volcanoes, Ugly Politics

Like it says, a video meditation on beautiful volcanoes and ugly politics...

Things which have not changed (1) -- continued

Crime (again)

An aside: if crime, per se, feels to me to be about the same (or even a little reduced), then the awareness of crime is heightened. People just seem to think about it more.

Why? I'm not certain. The media may report about it more aggressively now. Maybe that has something to do with it. And the 'Net means everyone knows everything the instant it happens. And, finally, there's Breaking Bad, the hit TV program set in this City, and which has to do with a chemistry teacher who becomes a methamphetamine dealer. (It's also going off the air shortly. Wonder how that will effect things.)

But one of the responses of the new awareness is that there are now gated communities here, which didn't exist when I lived in the city the first time. Now, you will find them all over Albuquerque, and particularly in the two eastern quadrants of the city.

One of them is directly across the street from my apartment. It is rather impressive, actually, a little reminiscent of a walled city, something out of the Middle Ages. A tall white brick wall circles it—over six feet tall in some places—and there are gates and guard posts at each entry way. Over the tops of the wall, or through the iron bars of the gates, you may glimpse the tall roofs of rather luxurious suburban homes.

So safe. So strong. So secure.

Yet…

*

The other day, I was out jogging. I saw ahead of me two teenage boys. Good kids. Just a couple of lads walking home from school or maybe the big Church just down the way. They were tall. I suspected they played basketball. But their sport of choice at that particular moment involved a small, hard rubber ball that they bounced between themselves as they walked.

The inevitable happened, of course. One of the boys threw the ball a little harder than he should have. It arced up into the sky and then over the white wall into the Gated Community.

Neither boy hesitated a moment. They simply hopped over the wall…as easily as if it were a curb…retrieved their toy, and hopped back over again. They headed on their way up the street, nodding shyly at me when I passed them and smiled.

Admittedly, they were athletic boys. Long legged boys. But, the point is the same. If they could get over the wall (and this was one of the places where it is at its tallest), then so could someone else.



*

But, the really interesting part of my story comes later.

Background: not long ago, the city had a bit of a scandal. A high-flying local real estate developer, Douglas F. Vaughan, was running a very lucrative business. He offered his family and friends, and wealthy customers, the opportunity to invest in his operations. And, at first, everyone seemed to profit. He was a magician, people said, at real estate.

Of course, it was a Ponzi scheme. People lost millions before it was all done and said. Vaughan went to jail and was duly dubbed Albuquerque's very own "Mini-Madoff."

The connection to my story? Well, before his fall, Vaughan built himself a palatial estate…a huge house, with bedroom upon bedroom, bath upon bath, garage after garage…all furnished, of course, in the best of taste.

And where was this estate? This house from which a genuine criminal mastermind directed the systematic looting of bank accounts across the city?

Where else? The very gated community that is across from me. It nestles in among the other homes of other (though more honest) affluent men and women.

And there, of course, is the irony. The good people of the Gated Community built their little city and gave it walls to seal away the contagions of the age.
Only, all along, a thief greater and more voracious then any they could have imagined…was right there among them.

Like the viper at the breast. The disease in the blood. The cancer in the cell.

Such is the illusion of safety. The true efficacy of walls.

Things Which Have Not Changed (1)

Crime.

When I first told people I was moving back to Albuquerque, some of the friends I still had in the city warned me. “It’s not like when we were kids here,” they told me. “Violent crime is way out of control. It’s like that TV show, Breaking Bad, but real life.”

I'm not sure about that. Of course, it might be true that there's more crime here now than then. The city is certainly larger than it was, which means there are more people, which means in turn that (if only because of simple math) there will also be more criminals. And, too, there is a very real drug problem here—some very major drug cartels, very dangerous organizations, exist right across the border in Mexico. Plus, there are gangs here, and ethnic conflicts.

Still, the perception of crime is a personal and a very relative thing. In my own case, and from my own perspective, the city seems pretty much unchanged when it comes to threat level. If anything, I feel safer here now then I did before.

Of course, that is partly due to a lot of unique factors. I don’t normally go into those places where I’m likely to get mugged. And I am no longer a young man, and young men are surprisingly often the targets of violence, at least when the perpetrators are other young men.

Plus I am no longer in the local school system, which, in the 1960s and 1970s was not a happy place to be. Not if you were, shall we say, a member of a target population.

*

Yet, I'm interested in how often I hear from the residents that the City is worse than it was. I hear it from my friends here, both new and old, and from long term residents. You hear about the new and more violent gangs that are on the streets. They say we now have branch offices of the Cripes and the Bloods. And the Cartels really are here. Plus, of course, we have our local groups, local warlords, and everyone cites Breaking Bad.

But, the thing is, if you look at the actual crime statistics, you find rather a different story. At least as I interpret the numbers (and I’m using here the city’s own reports from cabq.gov/onlinesvcs/crimestats/), it looks to me as though the over-all rate of crime has actually gone down. Not way down. It's still all too possible to get mugged or hurt here. And we’re still far ahead (alas) of the rest of the nation…particularly in personal assault cases…but, things do seem to be moving in the right direction (i.e., downwards) even if the velocity could be better.

How then to account for the perception that Things Are Getting Worse? Why are so many people, particularly people I knew as a boy, telling me to watch my step?

I suspect the answer has to do more with the human soul than with the city's numbers. There is in us, I think, a hard-wired need to see the past as more fortunate than the present. I think we are designed, neurologically, to do so. I think nostalgia is a need as intense as hunger and desire, and arises from the same dark, damp, inexplicable recesses of the brain and the spine.

*

Why? Why would we have such a need? What would be its "evolutionary value?"

I suspect that it helps our daily lives. The past, made rosy, prepares us for the future. We strip away the realities of our genuine story…the pains, the embarrassments, the humiliations, the moment we realized our parents were human, the moment we realized that we ourselves were so very, very flawed…and what we have left is a fortress. The Past is then our refuge. Our goal.

Yes, we say, our present is less than lovely…but the past! Ah, the Past! The Past was perfect. It was where our parents loved us, our friends were genuine friends, our teachers offered us genuine wisdom, our wants were few and easily satisfied, and the future was ours to possess.

If none of these is now true, well, we have the memory that they once were. We can retreat into remembrance. Or, if we have energy, then we can set out to rebuild that vanished Eden. We can tell ourselves that we are not undertaking so daunting a task as the creation of something new. We are simply regaining what had been lost.

How easy it will be. Or so we tell ourselves.

And underestimating the length and difficulty of the job is a fundamental prerequisite to our beginning it.

*

So on some level it is healthy and good that my friends warn me of the degraded state of the world. Whether the world is degraded or not is irrelevant. It means that they are in touch with an ancient part of us that stands, amazed and frightened, at the gates of paradise. Stands, and plans, and strives for a way back in.

Which, alas, confronts me with an unsettling question. To wit, why do I not share their feelings? Why have I no touch of the shared and common Eden?



*


I suspect there are many reasons. For one, I was among that group of young people who, in the late 60s and early 70s, were so supremely focused on the future (moon shots and space travel, sci-fi and Star Trek, the fascinations of we pre-nerds at the dawning of the information age) that we never had much time to consider the Present, much less the Past.

And, too, I must confess to having a somewhat melancholic disposition. Some unfortunate aspect of my genetics makes me tend to remember only the less happy aspects of my history, the times when I've failed others or myself. (Alas, there is no shortage of those.)

But, most of all, I think, I suffer from excessive rationality. It is a kind of mental disorder, and one compounded by a regrettable knowledge of history, and particularly of its less attractive aspects.

*

As I say, these characteristics are not good. They are flaws in my makeup, not advantages.

But, one plays the hand one is dealt. I will work with not against my disability. If I cannot love the Past…or, at least, not my own Past in this city… I shall focus instead on the Present.

In other words, I shall pretend that Now is Memory. That the current is nostalgia.

Is it a perfect strategy? No. But, it is the one I shall employ. And, besides, there is a certain resonance about it. After all, I am told that this is the day of Breaking Bad.

But to break bad…to shatter evil…does not that also mean that one creates good?

Things which have changed (1)

Size.



I should mention some of the ways in which the city, Albuquerque, has changed in the time since I've been gone…that is, the last 30 years or so.



The first and probably the most obvious is sheer size. I've not done serious research, but I did check the web, and according to Wikipedia the current population is 552,804 (or, at least, that's what it was in 2011).  If you include the surrounding areas, what specialists call "the Metropolitan Statistical Area" (MSA), then things get even more interesting. The total population then is in excess of 887,000 souls.



Now, when I left here, in 1979, the population of the whole area…not just Albuquerque but the MSA, which is to say almost the whole center of the state…was just about 480,600 (at least according to the web sites I've checked). In other words, the size of the city and its environs has not quite doubled since I was an undergraduate in my twenties.



And the increase becomes even more dramatic when you go further back. When I was thirteen in 1970, the population of the MSA was somewhere between 350,000 and 370,000 people, depending (I gather) on who you count and how you count them. (I'm using censusscope.org as my source, and it gives a number of about 373,000. However, The Real Estate Center at Texas A&M University provides the smaller number.)



In 1960, when I was all of three years old, the city's population was 315,485 (again, according to censussope). Thus, just in my lifetime, Albuquerque has gone from being a pretty small town, really, to a reasonably serious player among America's middle ranked cities.



This is not necessarily a good thing. There have always been serious traffic problems here—everyone has a car, public transportation exists but it is under-funded, streets are broad and straight, and speed limits are high and often not particularly well-observed.. (There's one avenue not far from where I sit now which has a limit of 55 miles an hour. This is not a highway, understand. It is a city street. It cuts between residential areas and is lined on either side by shopping malls. Thus pedestrians, if there are any, must play a kind of tag or leapfrog with thundering cars and SUVs, all moving at speeds that would be considered intimidating on some Eastern freeways).



Now, though, those problems are increased by an order of magnitude. Traffic can be simply overwhelming. At rush hour (and it seems that, in these days of 24/7 work weeks, every hour is rush hour), you will find yourself at some stoplight on an average city road that has up to eight lanes, not counting the two additional left turn lanes, and a right turn lane as well. Yet, in spite of that vast capacity, you will be trapped, stopped, stuck in motionless traffic, with too many cars (each containing too few people), waiting long hours for something, anything, to move.



I remember when we first started visiting here, my wife and I. My father told Martha, "This town is getting just too big. The traffic is terrible."



Martha, city-girl from the densely populated east, laughed when she told me this. Albuquerque? Wonderful little Albuquerque? Albuquerque the anti-Boston? Albuquerque with too much traffic? How was that possible?



Then, she started driving here on a regular basis.



A few years, even before we moved, she told me, "You know what? Your father was too right."



And at that moment, in her face, I saw the sadness that comes with the death of a hopeful illusion—that is, the idea that somewhere, somehow, there is a kind of Shangri-La, a Mayberry, a Rivendale, where the good things of cities are not balanced by the bad.



I recognized the look quite easily. It's been on my face often enough. In Boston, New York, New Orleans, Las Angeles, Montreal, London, Paris…others.



Think of it as the curse of the small town boy. The boy who goes in search of something, some excitement, some escape…but who discovers the reality that place is largely irrelevant. If the heart is itself not at peace, then there is no safe harbor. Serenity does not come from position.



So he returns to the community that sent him forth. Only, alas, he discovers too the sad wisdom of Mr. Wolfe.



He will have no welcome.

The Sea

Another image from the apartment.

We have my father over for dinner now and then. He comes and sits in the front room. Oreo, our dog, makes an enormous fuss over him, leaping into his lap and licking his face. He laughs and seems pleased.

Then we eat. My father likes Martha's cooking, though he finds it a little mild. This is a man, recall, for whom spices are a food group, and no plate is complete without cayenne pepper. But he enjoys the food, enjoys us, enjoys his time here…

Afterwards, we talk for a while. He talks to us, particularly to Martha, about politics or the sale of our house back in Winchester, or about my mother and his hopes for her recovery. He grows animated. Then he tires. I take him home. I leave him in the driveway of his house and drive away, not wanting to seem to hover, not wanting him to see me lingering to make certain he gets inside without problems.

And I go home to Martha. We sit and read or cruise the Web, or watch a sitcom on my laptop.

It gives me a curious feeling. You see, I never had my parents over to my apartment when I lived here. Later, when we were in Massachusetts, they would come to visit, of course, but there was never that moment that most of us have in extreme youth when we invite (for the first time) our parents to "our" place, and we show it off proudly. We say, in effect, look, see? I have the made the transition to adulthood. Or, at least, am making it. Will complete it. Soon. I promise.

Now, thirty years on, when I am already middle aged, and married, and have a grown son, I find myself experiencing that late moment of adolescence…that earliest hint of maturity…

That dawn which for me, alas, came so long delayed…when my sun is already at zenith…

And theirs so close…so dreadfully close… to the sea.

Balloons...Balloonists...Me

On the other hand…

I'd met them, actually. I mean the Abruzzos. You'll recall I said the museum's name is officially the Anderson-Abruzzo Albuquerque International Balloon Museum. The Anderson in question was Maxie Anderson, a local businessman and balloonist who was one of the pilots of the Double Eagle II.  The Abruzzo was Benjamin L. Abruzzo, another Albuquerque businessman and an aviator. He was on both the Double Eagle 2 and 5, as well as scores of other remarkable flights.

I did not know him. But I did see him now and then. My parents were skiers and Abruzzo was also part of the combine behind the Albuquerque Tramway, a rather remarkable cable car that runs from the city to the Sandia Ski Area (again, more of which later). And, now and then, Mr. Abruzzo would address the ski club of which my parents were members. I remember him as a personable chap in a business suit who spoke well and easily.

I also knew…well, that's too strong word… I knew of his sons. There were three, I think. The eldest was in the same Junior High School I was. I remember him as being pleasant enough—much bigger than I was, an athlete where I was anything but, and a bit of a favorite of the ladies, the teachers, and the coaches. But he wasn't a bully, which set him apart in my book. He could have easily taken advantage of his position.

I understand he grew up to be, like his father, a businessman and an aviator. But it was the youngest of the sons who ended up following most closely the father's fate. This man became a competitive balloonist and was well-known in the field.

I never met this man. But, I remember envying the elder Abruzzo and his sons. They seemed to live the life of daring and adventure which, for whatever reason I was temperamentally ill-equipped. Where they went out into the world and challenged, I stayed in my room and read science fiction.

I suppose I still feel a little like that. I ask myself if I had the chance, and I could have exchange fates…would I?

I wouldn't. But there would be a real temptation.

Which is odd…for the father died in a plane crash in 1985, and the younger son did the same in a balloon accident in 2010.

So, no.

And yet. And yet…

I hear that hateful little voice whispering. Forever whispering.

Better to have lived a day in passion than a thousand years asleep.

Green Chiles (again)

The other Chile fest we attended, the one in the City, was in a big field next to the Albuquerque Balloon Museum, or, more precisely the Anderson-Abruzzo Albuquerque International Balloon Museum. More on that later. For now, suffice to say that New Mexicans are also in love with balloons.

Anyway, once more we parked and paid a fee (bit more stiff this time, but it included entrance to the museum). Once more we entered and threaded our way through tables and tents.

It was pleasant enough, but there were fewer vendors of food…something of a problem since we'd thought we would have lunch there. Still, there was much to be seen. Again, there were vendors of sauce and toppings, whole roasted Chiles, jewelry…and (one major difference from the Las Lunas gathering) beer. Several local microbrewers were on hand to offer their wares.

I am not quite sure it was good idea (all those people and all that beer), but it did cool the tongue after one too many visits to the hot sauce samples.


*

We exited through the Museum. As I say, New Mexicans are crazy about balloons. In the Museum itself you may see all manor of historical balloons, or, at least, their gondolas, suspended from the ceilings on long cables…as though they still dangled from their gas bags.  And so, here you may see the Double Eagle II, the balloon which first crossed the Atlantic, and the Double Eagle V, which managed similar flight across the Pacific.

Impressive, really. The gondolas are relatively tiny. One wonders what it was like to be confined in them for day upon day, drifting with winds which you my exploit but cannot control, hoping that you will not tumble into ruin and death and white capped waves at any moment.

I suppose it requires that one be a sort of hero to manage that. You must be brave, verging on the fearless, and daring! You must be willing to risk it all on a single toss, telling yourself it will be seven and not snake eyes.

I could never be that sort of individual.

But, then, I suppose I don't want to be. If I must be heroic, and I don't suppose I ever will, then I would prefer it to be in some sort of service…doing something…for someone. For many someones.

Perhaps that means I am a lesser man.

So be it.

More on Green Chilies…(or chiles)

Before you can eat them, they must be roasted. You can do this at home in your oven, but it is a lot of effort and instead most people buy them from some store or enterprise that has a commercial roaster. This is a device that looks sort of like a large, perforated drum into which the chiles are placed. Then the drum rotates slowly over an open flame—in the old days, charcoal or wood, today usually propane.

In recent years, this has become something of a growth industry. At harvest time, in October, many of the local grocery stores will install a roaster right outside their doors, on the walk or even in the parking lot. Thus you cannot go in or out, even on so minor a mission as to pick up that carton of milk or loaf of bread, without being tempted.

What does it smell like? Hard to say, exactly. Pleasant, and decidedly organic, but not familiar. I suppose you could say it has some resemblance to the scent of grilling vegetables, but not a whole lot.

I will say this. It is a strong scent. It carries far. You can't miss it. And I've heard stories (maybe apocryphal, but still amusing) of overeager authorities sniffing what they thought was the bust of all busts, bursting into a backyard or a tailgate party, and finding…startled suburbanites, standing around a roaster, wondering what all the fuss and bother is about.

Arrival

And then here is arrival…

Envision it as follows: she is driving the car. You are in your little truck. Because her sense of direction is better (you have a tendency to dream behind the wheel, to think of other things, and so miss exits), she leads the way. Even though she has never taken this route before.

And as you drive, you consider. How long has it been since you've come this way? Along 40 from the east? It is the ancient Route 66, celebrated in song and story.

Could it be forty years? Quite likely.

In any case, you drive. You have driven across the Texas border, through the uplands, the grasslands, the little towns, the small cities…some with fabulous names, evocative, exotic, and strange. Tucumcari, Santa Rosa, Clines Corners, Wagon Wheel, Moriarty…

And then just past Sedillo the road begins its winding way into the mountains, or rather the pass…Tijeras Canyon …that notch that lies between the Sandias and the Manzanita Mountains. Somehow, because you are busy driving, busy watching, particularly if it is dusk and you are tired, you do not notice that great gray and tree-covered mountain walls…almost cliffs going up around you. You don't notice until suddenly, least expected, they are everywhere…

Perhaps you notice the town … the town of Tijeras, itself…vest-pocket city, long and lean, its buildings and houses and the giant cement works between hilltops and mountain face…valley town, two-dimensional community, extending East and West, but there is no South nor North…

And then you are at the top. You arc over a mountain. And…

The city. Albuquerque.

It is best at night because then you see the lights stretching before you, below you, a vast field of neon and gems and incandescent street lamps, stretching from the shadows at your feet to the opposite horizon. (When you were a boy, when your parents took you driving at night, you would pretend you were a city in the sea, at the bottom of the ocean, or the dark side of the moon, and you were in a descending vehicle, submarine or lunar lander.)

But even in the daytime, or at the interface between afternoon and dusk, there is a certain magic in it, as you descend from the mountain and find yourself on a highway. You and she had hoped to stop just outside the city to regroup but she does not see the turnoff for Tramway Boulevard and so you follow her to Eubank.

She exits there and then pulls off at the first sign she sees that reads Café. She thinks you will be able to get coffee before you travel on to your father's house. You follow her into the parking lot. It is, you realize, The Owl Café. White building. Huge windows. And on the roof…an image. A statue. At first you think it is a cat. But then you realize it is an Owl. The Owl from the name. A huge owl's head, wide-eyed, beaked, great horned…

You stand in the parking lot for a minute. Then you walk to her as she emerges from her car. You embrace. You have made it.

You go into the Owl Café. You will discover, over time (because you will go back), that the coffee is…all right.

But the green chile burgers?

To die for.

colossus

As a rule, I see my mother once a day. I get up, walk the dog, have breakfast, then head over to the nursing home. My father will be already there. He spends the morning there, and sometimes much of the afternoon. He comes and sits by her bed, speaks to her, plays her music on a little stereo he bought on eBay, and (most of all) watches out for her.

They are in awe of him. I mean, the staff at the home. He is there every day. Rain or shine. Snow or sleet. He is there. He comes and is with her. He is her companion. Her guardian. Her support. No matter what.

If you saw him, not knowing, you would see a very small man, very old, wearing ill fitting clothing that we can never get him to change, his hair unkempt…

You would dismiss him.

You would be wrong to do so.

Remember the saying about entertaining angels unaware? With him, it is the titan that is concealed. The giant. The more-than-man.

How frail the flesh. How fragile the bone. But perceive him correctly. You will see the monolith. The shimmering entity. The colossus at the edge of cosmos. The gaze which seeks the infinite.

And will, in time, obtain it.

New Mexico #6: Santa Fe

So, last time, I finally got us out of Albuquerque. You recall that last we met I ended on a down note. I had talked about the dead zone which is downtown Albuquerque early on a weekend morning. I talked about the train station that had once been quite beautiful, but which is, now, pleasant enough…yet a little too planned, a little too much the brave effort, a little too utilitarian, a little too much refurbished bus stop with city seals and corporate logos.

You'll recall, too, I mentioned the dying bird and the street people, the latter in masses in the lobby of the station.

Well, today, we'll head for cheerier climes.

At least at first.


*

So, we boarded the train—the Rail Runner—and almost instantly everything was magic. The train is new. Everything about it is new. The seats are not worn. The carpets are clean. The great windows are sparkling and transparent. Young people, the conductors, in new uniforms, move up and down the aisles collecting tickets.

It struck me that it was all a wonderful adventure in the past—a return to the days when train travel was gracious and comfortable, and also, back to my youth, when my family would take me to California to visit my Uncle and Aunt, and we would go to Disneyland, then so bright and shining. And, while it wasn't my favorite ride (my fav was the monorail) we would take at least one circle round the park in the train from Main Street USA. The well-scrubbed conductors and engineers would pose smiling for photos.

It was like that, a little. For just a moment, I was six years old again. Uncle Walt was in his heaven. And all was right with the world.


*

We moved out of the city. The downtown was replaced by light industrial parks, then small homes, then countryside. Around us stretched hill-lands and grasslands, range and mesa, sage and tumbleweed. We could see the mountains in the distance.

We talked. My parents told us about their trip to China. We told them about our son—David—and how he was going to graduate from college. We watched as the crowd of other passengers grew around us.

A pleasant voice came over the intercom and said we were entering Indian lands. We were asked to reframe from taking photos. This out of respect to the sensitivities of the local people.

We pulled then, through, a pueblo…a small town of adobe and empty spaces. Here and there were the dome-shaped brick ovens in which fry bread is made. They are beautiful and strange, those ovens. Organic, almost. As though they grew there, or were thrown smoothly on the mandala wheel of the potter.

On the way back, we would hear a young lawyer (a man who seemed unable to keep his mouth shut) begin to lecture a pair of total strangers in the seat next to his. "They bake bread in those," he said, and went into detail. He assumed they were tourists, eager to hear his wisdom. The man and two women tried repeatedly to get a word in. Finally, when he took a breath, they interrupted. "We know. We are from here."

It didn't stop him from talking all the way to the station.

The train moved on.

*

We moved upward and through hills, past the highway, then away from it. For a moment, we would be an open field, cattle grazing in the distance, a string of barbed wire between them and us. Then, we would be in the hills, empty and steep.

Then, rather suddenly, we were there.

We were in Santa Fe.


*

There are two stations in Santa Fe. We went to the second one. It is in the midst of new buildings—shops, restaurants, offices. All very clean, very fresh, very bright.

We exited the train. Conductors appeared as if by magic at the doors and helped everyone down the steps. The morning sun slanted brightly down from the East and the station platform was soft yellow in the early light.

We walked along the platform and more smiling young people in uniforms appeared. "This way to the free buses…" they motioned us. "This way to the shuttles downtown."

We followed their cheery directions. We found ourselves in a white van where a pleasant man told us the stops of the van and how often it ran. He noted particularly the final run of the evening so that we wouldn't miss our train…assuming, of course, that we didn't stay the night.

And, a few minutes later, we were in the Square.


*

Like most historic cities, Santa Fe is centered on an ancient square. There is a monument in the center of the square, and a bit of grass. Along one side of the square is the Palace of the Governors, from whence the Conquistadors once ruled, and which is now a museum. Along the other sides of the square, and stretching off deep into the city, are shops, restaurants, tourist attractions, art galleries, hotels, sculpture gardens, historic churches, more restaurants, women's clothing shops, handcrafted furniture studios, more art galleries, more hotels, more shops, and then, for change, more restaurants.

My parents suggested that we split up. They didn't want to hold us back, they said. So they said they'd meet us at the La Fonda hotel at noon. We would go to lunch from there. We agreed. They vanished in the direction of the Palace.

We went to the shops. We were, in fact, on a mission. Our son, as I said, was graduating from the School of the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. We wanted to find him a gift for the occasion. We weren't quite sure what to get him. He likes Southwestern art. He has a small collection of Kachinas, though he has no room for them at his apartment, so they are at the house with us. Still, they wait for him and for the time when he'll reclaim them. One morning, one future day, Sun and Mudhead, Eagle and Maiden, will fly from us to him.

Which is just as it should be.

But we weren't quite sure what to get him. We had thought about another Kachina, but those are hard to ship. We thought, too, about a Zuni fetish, perhaps the badger or the bear, though I suppose the lion would suit him best.

So, one of the things we wanted to do was just browse…just see if we saw something we thought he'd like.

Honestly, though, I was a little reluctant to get him anything in Santa Fe. It is, after all, a city full of travelers and tourists. And prices go up accordingly.


*

We toured. We shopped. We made our way, with our cameras, among our fellow tourists, with their cameras. We window shopped. We looked at the mannequins wearing "broomstick dresses," and squash blossom necklaces. We went past the Loretto Chapel with its supposedly Miraculous Stair, constructed (it is said) by Saint Joseph himself. It is surely not true. But it makes a rather sweet story. We looked at the jewelry on display by the sidewalk vendors in front of the Palace. Martha refused my repeated suggestions that I buy her something.

We decided we saw nothing that would suit our son. So, we headed for the La Fonda.

And then, we began to notice what we had seen all along, but which we had chosen not to see.

The Wealth.


*

Now, understand me. There is nothing inherently wrong with people who have money. Indeed, I'd very much like to be one.

But, let us face facts; riches are no more a guarantor of virtue than is poverty. More, there is a kind of wealth (careless, indifferent, arrogant) that is most unattractive indeed.

And Santa Fe has money. Not all of Santa Fe, of course. Most of the people there have mid-sized incomes at most. But, recall, this is a city which has drawn to itself the affluent for almost a century—movie stars and best-selling novelists, entrepreneurs in search of simplicity and romance, lawyers of a bohemian bent, oil men from Texas, trust fund babies.

You see them, and their money, periodically, unexpectedly, in a flash…like the parting of clouds that reveals the sun. You'll be in a gallery, you'll glance away from a painting, and there will be a celebrity you know. Or, you'll be at a restaurant, glance at a table, and there will be two women, their clothes more expensive than your car, sampling Chili Rellenos with tentative forks. Or…in our case that morning…the blonde girl, as sleek as a centerfold, so very pleased with herself, and with her hateful little dog whose name was not Toto.

We had decided it was time to head back toward the La Fonda where we would meet my parents. We turned into the square from a side street, and she was there on the sidewalk—a woman somewhere in her twenties, wearing an expensive short white dress, carefully shaped hair, designer sun glasses, quite pretty in her way, yet with that certain self-satisfied hardness that comes from knowing that you are almost always the center of attention.

We heard her before we saw her. She was yelling to some companion across the square that they would meet up later. We heard her cultured but—at that moment—shrill voice as it cut over the traffic.

We turned and looked. She was standing on the walk with a small dog on a leash. I don't remember the breed. Something tiny. It pawed restlessly at the ground. She pulled it forward and they went on a little ways. Then, it halted and would not go on in spite of her urging. It lifted its tiny rear into the air and…

Shit upon the walk.

*

I, too, have a small dog. A Shih Tzu. I walk him every morning. He, too, does his business on the way. I carry a little stash of plastic bags expressly for the purpose of cleaning up after him. Yes, that means I am bourgeois, and I follow the rules, and I wash my hands after I use the john. Doubtless many men and women find me amusing for that.

But, I feel there is something so very crude about leaving excrement in a public place. And, more, that there is something arrogant in thinking that someone else, someone lesser than yourself, will deal with your messes.

And the young woman? With her dog?

She watched, faintly smiling, while it finished its leisurely crap. And then, without a backward glance, she led it away.

The little pile that it…and she… had left behind remained steaming where it was.


*

It was a little thing. A small thing. A trivial thing. In Manhattan or downtown Boston, you wouldn't give it another glance.

Yet, for me, in this place, it was a metaphor.

*

Martha and I watched her go. Martha said something about the sheer thoughtlessness of her action. I agreed.

We shrugged. Well. Time to head to the La Fonda.

Yet, even as we walked, I began to wrestle with curious ideas…

About the difference between a city and an amusement.

But that's for next time.






Copyright © 2009 Michael Jay Tucker

New Mexico #5: The Alvarado

Okay, so, this time, I’m finally going to get to the next installment of the tale of my recent trip to New Mexico.

It will involve The Alvarado. Beautiful and gracious.

And gone.


*

I am a little melancholy in this one. So be prepared. But it does end on an up note.

Anyway, when I left off last time, in New Mexico #4, we were heading downtown. My parents wanted to take us on the “Rail Runner.” This is the new, relatively high-speed train that goes from Albuquerque, where they live (and where I grew up) and Santa Fe, which is the capital of the state and perhaps its most famous city. Santa Fe is the romantic city, where movie stars go.

Oh, some other New Mexican communities likewise have their claims to fame. Taos is where D.H. Lawrence and a host of artists and poets went to be very, very trendy and counter-cultural together in the 1920s. Meanwhile, Truth or Consequences (yes, that is its name), may be the only town in America named after a quiz show. Los Alamos is linked forever (if not quite fairly) with the Bomb. Gallup is both loved and hated for its relationship with Native Americans. Roswell has its Aliens, as imaginary as Mickey Mouse and, in their way, as much a part of pop culture.

And Albuquerque? My hometown? Largest city in the state?

Well, it’s where Bugs Bunny inevitably failed to make that left turn on the way to California.


*

My father drove us through the streets of downtown Albuquerque. Last time I talked about that a bit. How the city’s heart is nearly empty on weekends. At least before noon. Oh, you have a few souls here and there. A few business-folk going to their offices for a spot of extra work on Saturday. A few churchgoers on their way to Mass. The very, very, very few…vanishingly few … people who actually live there.

And, of course, the street people. And a few criminals. They are present. They can be found.

We parked in a large garage, took the elevator to the ground, and then walked to the train station. It is new and clean and very much out of place in the city.

I remember it from years ago. As a boy, my parents would take me east to visit my grandparents on the El Capitan or The Superchief—travelers’ trains, comfortable, elegant, exciting. Some of the last such in America. I have never forgiven the auto, the plane, and larger American culture for allowing them to die.

The station, too, is vastly changed from what it was. When I was very young, it was a magnificent place. It was, to be precise, The Alvarado. Say that word in a whisper, as though you were invoking magic. For, in fact, you are. It was glorious. A complex of buildings and shops, all in the Mission Revival style (look it up). It was a hotel, a station, a place of transport yet, also, a destination famed for its luxury. People came expressly to stay there because it was an attraction in itself.

It was lovely and elegant and …and…it is all gone now.

In 1970, Those Who Knew Best demolished it. They ripped it to pieces and carted it away as trash.

When I heard, I wept. At the age of 13, and far too old for that sort of thing, I wept.

*

Oh, God! Those Who Know Best…

May they rot in hell.

*

Today, the “Alvarado Transportation Center” is a much smaller place, more utilitarian, more in the spirit of the bus station and the commuter rail stop. It isn’t bad, really. In fact, it is much better than what was there just a few years ago.

You see, when they tore down the old Alvarado, nothing much took its place for quite some time. It was nothing but an unpaved parking lot for decades. The dust would rise from it at rush hour and settle over the streets of downtown.

I’m not sure what it was that motivated the vandals in three-piece suits who murdered the Alvarado. But, if it was their intent to profit from their actions then they gained nothing. No new and expensive office buildings took the place of the station. No business renaissance revived the area. It just sat and withered, or else attempted to give itself back to the desert from whence it came.

Or, maybe, that was the point all along. Maybe those who moved with such unseemly haste to destroy the Alvarado (sending in the bulldozers before the building’s defenders could organize or even know the crime was coming) had no intention of constructing something new. Maybe it was all simply a message. Maybe it was the way that Post-Industrial America explained itself, said Behold, the day of the train is over. The day of comfort is over. The day of your being a “passenger” is over. From hence forward, you are live freight, at best.

Get used to it.


*

Anyway…

We made our way to the new station. It required we move through the first real crowd since we’d gotten downtown. The homeless and street people of the area use the station as a refuge. Through their numbers we made our way.

My father bought us tickets. I looked around the place, intrigued by the renewal of the area. We used the restrooms and bought a cup of coffee. Then, my father said we really ought to be heading out.

We followed him outside and up a set of stairs. Then, we were on a concrete platform beside the tracks. A small but respectable group of fellow travelers were with us. We all enjoyed the sun and the felt the air.

I had memories. I remembered coming there with them when I was oh…so painfully young. I remembered waiting in the lobby. I remembered going with them to the gift shops, the restaurants…all of it. I remembered walking with my father to the newsstand. He showed me the first issue of _ Playboy _ I’d ever seen. I remember right then and right there, realizing that I was —in spite of what the coaches said during PE— very heterosexual. And that, by Heaven! my childhood was drawing towards its close.

*

I saw a sign next the stairway that led back down to the station. I can’t remember exactly what it said, but it was something along the lines of, “Okay, you’re in Albuquerque…what now?” Below that was a list of things to do in the city.

I had a vision of tourists . . . perhaps Europeans …who had come to Santa Fe and then thought, What the Heck? Let’s see Albuquerque as well.

So, one Saturday, they take the train and find themselves…

Here. In the midst of concrete and steel. And echoes. And the nearest attraction is a half hour’s taxi ride away. If you can find the taxi in the first place.

*

And, then, the perfect symbol. No director of melodrama could have planned it better. No prophet could have provided a better sign of things to come...

Of would wait for us upon our return to Albuquerque after our time in Santa Fe.


*

There were pigeons in the place. They flew in circles around us, taking rest for a moment on the roofs of the buildings, then dashing to the concrete platform to see if we’d dropped anything worth eating.

A woman beside me said, “Look! His leg!”

I looked where she pointed. One of the birds had landed beside us. He limped, dragging one leg uselessly behind him.

“He’s got a thread around it.”

She was right. There was a length of something around his leg—thread, or fish line, or something plastic, I couldn’t tell for certain. All I could see was that it cut deep into his flesh.

“Can we get it off him?” she asked.

I lied. “I don’t know.” I knew we couldn’t. I knew he’d fly the minute we got near. I knew that he was dying. The leg would wither and become infected. He’d perish. It was only a matter of time.

We heard the train in the distance. It was coming toward us.

I took off my coat and held it up. I hoped I could throw it over him, like a net. Then, if I could hold him still, maybe I could get the line off him.

The woman took the other side. We circled him. He eyed us uncertainly. I prepared to throw the coat.

The train pulled into the station.

The bird was gone in a flutter of wings. We watched it fly away towards its inevitable destruction.


*

Now, forget that small tragedy. Forget the bird and his fate.

For a moment…that is.

We will, however, return to it later.

But that’s for later.


*

The train pulled into the station. It was bright and new, as shiny and wonderful as a toy. Except, of course, that it was real, and so all the more magical for that.

Young people in conductor’s uniforms appeared and greeted us. We trooped inside and found seats upstairs on the second story of the train. Great windows opened up and we could see out and everywhere. The sun seemed already brighter.

I felt my spirits rising.

And, a moment later, we were on our way.


*

Until next time…






Copyright © 2009 Michael Jay Tucker